Thursday, April 27, 2006

A year after.....


To mark Tatay's first year death anniversary...a memorial service was held...

We were all there..my mother who hasn't gotten over the pain.....my brothers and sisters, grandchildren, relatives and friends....

For me it was a day to remember God's faithfulness. He did not leave us during our great time of sorrow. He was with us all the time..The pain that we all thought would not fade has somehow mellowed....and it was only because the Lord guided and strengthened us through it all......

My personal thought was..starting today I can't tell myself anymore that the same time last year,father was still alive...that last year same time..I was with him....

The gap is getting wider...

Monday, March 20, 2006

It has been 3 years now......

Today is my late brother's 3rd year death anniversary. The late PO3 Jovito Caramol Jr. He was a member of the PNP SAF...it is sad that until now justice is still not given for his death. His murderer is still at large.

To you dear brother - even if you didn't get justice here on earth please be assured that our GOD is righteous and He will revenge for His children...

You would have enjoyed seeing your little Shaun grow up to be such a precocious child...he looks so much like you when you were about his age...seeing him is like seeing you again when you were young.....I miss you bro...

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Chengdu, Sichuan, China once again..... (February 19-24, 2006)

For the second time this year, I went to Chengdu,Sichuan, China..



Steven accompanied us to a street which depicted traditional Chinese houses as well as the oldest opera house in China.



It was a lot enjoyable visit this time because I had Chern Chern, Vivian and Steven all the while with me.



We went to so many places and was able to buy some stuff for my daughter as well. My hotel is located in the downtown so it is pretty close to so many shops....



I also enjoyed the foot massage which I had for 2 consecutive nights. Wow! It was indeed a great feeling....



Chengdu had gray skies through out my stay..Temp was 2 -3 degrees but I enjoyed the cold weather coupled with light rainshowers. We also went to several restaurants and have tasted some famous Sichuan local dishes...Yummy!

Monday, January 23, 2006

Shanghai/Chengdu, China (Jan 15-20, 2006)




January 17, 2006
Shanghai, China


Last night, my colleagues here in Shanghai took me to dinner. They said it was the most famous restaurant in Shanghai. The dinner was composed of so many courses and I was able to practice my ‘chopsticks prowess”. The restaurant was located at the Super Brand Mall opposite the famous “TOWER” in Shanghai.

It was freezing when we went out from the restaurant. I have not experienced this kind of weather in the Philippines not even when we had the strongest typhoon. It was like being inside the refrigerator. I enjoyed wearing winter clothing and pretended that I am really used to having winter in my life.

The Tower is enveloped with so many lights. It was fun looking at it remembering that only more than six months ago, I was also here with Leah and Chern.

Joy and I said our goodbyes to Jacky and Kevin. Joy will help me to get a taxi first then she will take a bus to her apartment.

It was so hard to take a cab because there were so many people around considering that offices have just closed for the day and there are many people shopping because of the forthcoming Chinese New year..

Finally, Joy got a taxi for me. Joy spoke to the driver then she told me that everything is okay. The taxi driver will take me to my hotel. I thanked her then immediately board the cab.

I was enjoying all the sceneries before me. It was getting late and I was mesmerized by so many beautiful lights in the city. Then I saw the Renaissance Hotel. I noticed its big, revolving door and I remember how I disliked it this morning because it somehow made me dizzy. I also noticed that Renaissance is fronting a fly over I didn’t see it before.

I paid the taxi driver then proceeded inside the hotel lobby. It was a weird feeling because it looked like the hotel layout is different. Even the furnitures are not the same. How come the dining room is very near the hotel entrance when I remember that it was located in the inner portion. How come I don’t see the big staircase? How come the reception table is not the same? How come they are now giving free candies instead of lollipops that I liked? The place is very similar yet different. It seems that I am in another world. I thought they tried to remodel the lobby because of the Chinese New Year. But how could the layout changed so much in a span of few hours?

I even had a hard time locating the elevator. I knew it was just near the reception but how come I had to walk a bit more???

I took the elevator up to the 10th floor. I looked for my room number, it is room 1014. How come my room is not in the dead end this time? How come my door bell is on the left side when I am very sure that it was on the right? How come my key is not working? Hmnn… maybe I got my room number wrong. Maybe I should try 1004. My key did not work also??? Wonder of all wonders… What is happening to me??? I feel like I am “enchanted” How could these strange things happen all at the same time??? I really tried hard to open the door…tried several times until the door knob flashed red…Ooops..I have to stop…I know that the security will be alarmed if I continue trying…. Finally..I decided that I would ask the receptionists for a new key. Maybe my access is not working.. I took again the elevator to the lobby…I noticed that their faces are not familiar….Could be another shift….that’s why I am seeing different people….. for some reasons, I did not feel like requesting for a new key yet….I went out and tried to inhale several times. Enjoying the ‘smoke like’ thing when I open my mouth….I tried to relax and think why these things are happening….I tried to rationalize….then I noticed the flower pots in the hotel…I looked at the guard who was assisting the guests if they need to take a taxi…. I asked him..Is this Renaissance Pudong? He answered “Yes, I know the place..I could ask the driver to take you there? What??? I felt cold inside….I tried to gatecrash someone else’s hotel room? What could have happened if somebody, say a man opened the door when I was trying to open it? What could have happened if the security people got me then? Ha, ha, ha….this was an experience that I will forever remember…..Seems that I always get into trouble one way or another when I am in China. (Last year, it was the overpricing taxi man who charged me triple more than the usual)

I took another taxi and I made sure that the lobby guard would explain to the taxi driver that I have to be at Renaissance Pudong …I was feeling differently when the taxi started to move away from Renaissance Puxi…..At least, I can now compare the two hotels….. I arrived in my correct hotel before 10 pm ..

I told Joy my experience the following day when we were having lunch at the cafeteria ….. . .….We were laughing so hard…Tomorrow, I am flying to Chengdu…Not sure what this city has in store for me…..


January 18, 2006
Chengdu, China


It was more than 3 hour trip from Shanghai to Chengdu. Really shows how big China is. The temperature was 7 degrees when I arrived. Chengdu’s skies are gray just like Shanghai’s. I guess it is the overall condition in the whole of China right now. I paid RMB70 from the airport to my hotel. Kempinski hotel has an impressive facade. My room number is 1407 on the 14th floor. The walls leading to the rooms are somewhat drab because of brown colors. My room is very grand. The two beds made me wish that my husband and daughter are with me. I really hate being alone in a hotel room. Anyways, the bathroom has a glass shower room. The shower is somewhat complex. Not the usual showers in other hotels that I have been to. There are four button showers plus the one that is detachable and the big one overhead. The bathtub is really great. The lavatory is made of glass as well. The lights in the bedroom do not really strain the eyes because they are placed strategically.

From my window, I could see a park adorned with so many lights. There are many trees and almost all the people promenading are in black winter suits. I could easily spot some benches, some monkey bars as well as some old men enjoying the cold weather while walking in the park. They reminded me so much of my father…Same body built and height…And I remember that father had also a brown jacket suited for winter. How I wish I could still tell him how my trip to China had been. He’d be laughing hard on my experience in Shanghai the other day and of course he would tell me to be extra careful next time. I am sure that he’d ask me questions to confirm all the things he knew about this country on top of the ones that I would be sharing him. My father seemed to have stored knowledge about everything and he was such a joy to talk to because he had a sense of humor as well.

In the past, whenever he learned that I would be going out of the country, he would always tell the people in our neighborhood that his daughter was sent by the company that she is working for to this country and he would be beaming with pride. This is the reason why even I do not have enough money, I would always make it a point to buy him a little something from every country I’d been to.

Ooops, sad thoughts…so depressing…..please leave me…..don’t want to think of such thoughts especially now that I am alone in this beautiful but empty hotel room.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Empty Nest



This is the sala in my parents' house. This is where we usually spend light moments, just talking about anything under the sun, discussing family issues, catching up with each others escapades...watching TV, enjoying karaoke, etc. I still remember that my father and Jun would always occupy those 2 seats in the front window.

Whenever I go home these days, I would look at those chairs and imagine that they are sitting there. Jun would either be laughing about something or teasing one of his nieces or nephews. Most of the time it was Pam who got his playful attention.

Tatay, on the other hand, would be sitting in one of those seats and will tell us that his wallet was getting lonely because there were not much money inside. That was his famous line whenever his children are about to leave the house after visiting them.

It made me really feel light hearted whenever I hear him say that. I find it funny and endearing at the same time. Of course, tatay would understand if his children can't give sometimes. In my case, I would start to joke and I'd ask how much he needed. He would quote an amount and we will end up much below it....Tatay would always complain that when we give the money thru nanay, it would never be given to him...Nanay would of course react and everybody would be laughing because it was just a joke between them...Nanay would say that Tatay sometimes would get more than his share...these are some of the light moments that I miss so much....Whenever our car would start to leave our street, I find myself missing their faces because they would usually be standing near our gate to wave goodbye....


It's hard to imagine until now that two of the people I dearly love in my life are really gone forever. Acceptance doesn't take out the pain and somehow their memories in our house and hearts will always remain...

Our source of pride



During the 2005 Christmas Party of BENCH, my husband was awarded as the MOST OUTSTANDING SUPERVISOR. The recognition came with some amount.

Of course, Pam and I are both proud of his accomplishment. All his hard work paid off. I really hope that our daughter will learn about hardwork from her papa and from me, too.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

For All of My Life.....



My husband and our unica hija, Pamela Joy

I got acquainted with this song thru Pam. She is always singing it and she has requested me to print the lyrics from a certain website. I liked the melody and the lyrics.... I find myself singing the song with them in my mind..so I thought I should have it on my blog...The song was popularized by MYMP group...this is how it goes......

E Am/Esus
Come and lay here beside me
B B9 E
I'll tell you how it feel
E Am
There's a secret inside me
C#m7 B E
I'm ready to reveal

========
Refrain:
========
A G#m
To have you close, embrace your heart
C#m7 C#m7-B
With my love over and over
F#m'~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~ ~(A9)~ Bsus
These are things that i'll promise, my promise to you

=======
Chorus:
=======
E
For all of my life
G#m7'
You are the one
A' Am
I will love you faithfully forever
E
All of my life
G#m7'
You are the one
A' ~~~~~~~~ Am
I'll give to you my greatest love
E G#m7' A' Am
For all of my life hooo hooo yeah yeah

=========
Verse II:
=========

E Am/Esus
Let me lay down beside you
B B9 E
There's something you should know
E Am
I pray that you decide too
C#m7 Bsus E
Open your heart and let me show

===========
Refrain II:
===========

A G#m
Enchanted worlds of fairytales
C#m7 C#m7-B
Are wonder land of love
F#m'~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~ ~(A9)~ Bsus
These are things that i'll promise, my promise to you

=======
Chorus:
=======
E
For all of my life
G#m7'
You are the one
A' Am
I will love you faithfully forever
E
All of my life
G#m7'
You are the one
A' ~~~~~~~~ Am
I'll give to you my greatest love
D9 E9~~~:
For all of my life
:~~~~~~~~~D9 E9~~~:
All of my life
:~~~~~~~~~B'-D9-C#m7-B~~~~~
All of my Heart
B~~~~~~~~>F#m'~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~ ~~ >(A9)~<>Bsus
These are things that i'll promise, my promise

=======
Chorus:
=======
E
For all of my life
G#m7'
You are the one
A' Am
I will love you faithfully forever
E
All of my life
G#m7'
You are the one
A' ~~~~~~~~ Am
I'll give to you my greatest love
E
For all of my life
E
For all of my life
G#m7'
You are the one
A' Am
I will love you faithfully forever
E
For all of my life
G#m7'
You are the one
A' ~~~~~~~~ Am
I'll give to you my greatest love
E~strum~~~~~~~~
For all of my life

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Ryan & Mateng



This is Ryan, our youngest, in the brood of six. With him is Mateng, his girlfriend. They have been together for so long...wayback their college days; both worked for a time in their school papers which partially paid for their tuition fees. Their hardwork paid off, they both graduated with a course in BSECE.

They are now saving enough for their future....

Well done guys!

Monday, January 02, 2006

Shaun and Joem




My nephew and my niece. Both spitting images of their fathers. Looking at them, I can't help but remember how Jun & Joey looked like in their younger years. Jun didn't live to see his son Shaun grow and become his younger version. However, I remember that Jun called his son "Ingkit" short for singkit (small eyes) when Shaun was still a baby.

Joey is enjoying his Joem, cherishing the passing days as his daughter grows on to resemble him day by day.....While Shaun has small eyes, Joem has big, round eyes...(so much like Jun and Joey)

Note: Ate Pam's legs are on the background of Shaun's picture. The picture was taken by their Tita Mateng in Lola's bed. According to Pam, she has nice legs, huh! that's my daughter, gutsy, indeed!

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Christmas, 2005



It was our first Christmas without my father. We decided to celebrate it in our parents' house in Bulacan. Everybody was trying to put on a happy face so that our mother wouldn't feel very sad. We said that we are not going to be weepy this Christmas. Mother kept on saying though that if father were still alive, he would be very happy because we are almost complete. (Only Ditse wasn't able to go home)

My mother's bravado crumpled when it was time to eat the Noche Buena. She suddenly burst into tears which prompted me to embrace her and say that we are always there to support her.

Last Christmas, both my parents were in our house in Cavite. But now only my mother is with us.........

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Lunch with the IAs




Right after the exit meeting, our group treated the IAs to lunch at Tagaytay. They enjoyed the food as well as the scenery. Sonia was touched by the rendition of a Chinese love song. Too bad, the singers do not know any Indian song for Mustafa....

Tried by fire

You, O God, have tested us; You have refined us as silver is refined. – Psalm 66:10

"The main end of life is not to do but to become," F. B. Meyer said. And for this we are being prepared every day. As silver is refined by fire, the heart is often refined in the furnace of sadness. The Psalmist said in his sorrow, "We went through fire" (Psalm 66:12).

The refining process may be very painful, but it will not destroy us, for the Refiner sits by the furnace tending the flame. He will not allow us to be tried beyond our endurance; it is for our good.

We may not understand why we have to endure such misery year after year. The ordeal seems endless and pointless. Our days are wasted. or so it appears. We feel as if we are doing nothing of lasting significance.

But God is doing what matters – we are being refined. He is placing us into a crucible in which we acquire patience, meekness, humility, compassion, and the other "quiet" virtues our souls naturally lack.

So don’t be afraid and don’t fret. Your present trial, as painful as it may be, has been screened through God’s wisdom and love. The Refiner sits beside the crucible tempering the flame, monitoring the process, waiting patiently until His face is mirrored in the surface. – David Roper

"As thy day thy strength shall be!"

This should be enough for thee;

He who knows thy frame will spare

Burdens more than thou canst bear. – Havergal

Monday, December 19, 2005

Fill The Glass

Do all the good you can, to all the people you can,
in all ways you can, as often as you can,
for as long as you can.

- Charles Haddon Spurgeon


It does not matter
whether the glass is half empty or half full.
Our challenge is to fill the glass.

The glasses of our lives
comes in different forms and
they need to be filled in different ways.


Some of us
need to be connected, to be heard, and to be understood.
Some of us
need to be acknowledged, to be appreciated, and to be wrapped in a warm hug,
Some of us
need laughter, companionship, and camaraderie.

Christmas is not
about holidays, shopping, and exchanging expensive gifts.
Christmas is
about filling the glasses
within the home and around the world.

I wish
your love ones and you
a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year 2006.
Find your voice, serve your world.
Do it now.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Starbucks-Tagaytay



Dennis is going back to the US. We had dinner at Leslie's where we had the usual...kare-kare..sinigang na hipon..pinakbet...etc...

Afterwards, we moved to the nearby Starbucks where we enjoyed the cold Tagaytay winds while sipping our coffee...

We were already in the carpark when Leah said we haven't had our usual picture taking. We requested the guard to take our picture and we were laughing hard because it took the man so long before he was able to do so.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Penang, Malaysia - Dec 4-10, 2005

It was only during the stop over in Singapore that I found out that I had some officemates in the same flight from Manila. Some of them were heading to Penang and some are heading to India. We ate lunch together at Changi Airport. Then, we girls decided to have some pictures taken at the Sunflower Garden while the guys opted to puff some cigarettes.





Below picture was taken during the CS Asia Capital teambuilding dinner that we had at the Equatorial Hotel, Penang, Malaysia.
(I am the only Filipino in the picture)

Sunday, December 11, 2005

My Grown Up Christmas List

Do you remember me
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you
With childhood fantasies

Well, I'm all grown up now
And still need help somehow
I'm not a child
But my heart still can dream

So here's my lifelong wish
My grown up christmas list
Not for myself
But for a world in need

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
and wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown up christmas list

As children we believed
The grandest sight to see
Was something lovely
Wrapped beneath our tree

Well heaven surely knows
That packages and bows
Can never heal
A hurting human soul

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown up christmas list

What is this illusion called the innocence of youth
Maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth
(there'd be)

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end, oh
This is my grown up christmas list

This is my grown up christmas list

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Reunion

The event was held last November 13, 2005. It was 25 years since we graduated from high school. I was not there for personal reasons but I got these photos from Ever and Gani. Looking at the pictures...seeing dear old faces after more than 2 decades gives me mixed emotions.....How I wish I was there, too. Nice to know that most of them are now successful in their own right. They are planning to have a Christmas reunion..Hope I can join you guys, this time.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

H U G

It’s wondrous what a hug can do
A hug can cheer you when you’re blue
A hug can say “I love you so”
Or “I hate to see you go,”

A hug is welcome back again;
And great to see you “how you been?”
A hug can soothe a small child’s pain.
And bring a rainbow after rain.

A hug, there’s just no doubt about it –
We scarcely would survive without it!
A hug delights and warms and charms,
It must be why God gave us arms,

Hugs are great for mothers and fathers,
A hug can break the language barrier,
And make travel so much merrier.

No need to fret about your problem,
The more you give the more there’s more of them.
So stretch those arms without delay
And give someone a hug today!

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

My niece Joem today....



It has been four months....after so many cans of baby formula...Joem gained weight so fast.......baby dresses hardly fitting nowadays....she is turning into a fat, cooing, cuddly baby girl...effortlessly weaving her way to the hearts of the people around her.....in the midst of her smiles and shrieks and loud cries.....

Sunday, October 23, 2005

For you alone

You are the peace that guards my heart
My help in times of need
You are the hope that leads me on
And brings me to my knees
For there I find you waiting
And there I find release
So with all my heart I worship
And unto you I sing

For you alone deserve all glory
For you alone deserve all praise
Father we love you and adore you
Father we long to see your face

For you alone deserve all glory
For you alone deserve all praise
Father we love you and we worship you this day......