365 days ago...

Today is my first year anniversary with this company. Time flies... I still remember that I was a bit nervous when I started. I still have within me the joy of getting this job. 2 salary increases...several recognitions...one instance to claim the health benefit for my daughter...lots of overtime & overnight because of the work load...but it is okay....i am still enjoying my job. I am thankful to God for this new chance....

It is hard to please everyone

I have learned that somebody in my team believes that I am playing favorites.

It's hard to understand people like that. Hard to believe the extent one can do just to take the attention away from her mistakes. It is also disappointing to know how easy it is for others to believe or to talk at your back. People whom you thought are your trusted friends.

People are trying to put one down when they think that that someone is on his way up or when they think that that someone is already ahead of them.

Sad that there are people who are like that. They would rather see the negative things rather than the good things that you've done.

Sigh! Life goes on..as long as I am not doing anything bad to them. As long as my conscience is clear....I should not mind... God bless all of you..You know who you are...

8 years ago....

....8 years ago, my brother was still alive....he was happy with his 6 month old baby, & wife . He was a member of the Special Action Force of the Philippine National Police.

....8 years ago, our family was still complete. Nanay & Tatay were also still with us.

....8 years ago, I don't recognize the pain of losing a loved one. It was an experience that me & my family had to go thru 3 times...

....8 years ago, a brother next to me was still a live.

....8 years ago....we were 6 siblings and 2 parents.

how I wish to go back to that time....

Sending kisses to my nanay

Today is the 3rd death anniversary of my dear nanay. Time flies.... I truly miss her. I wish we had more time to be with each other.

Swollen Tonsils

My daughter had been complaining that something is wrong with her throat. It was hard for her to swallow. Even swallowing liquid gave her pain. We went to see a doctor at UMC that weekend and she was given antibiotics to fight off the infection. We were told to come back on Wednesday to check on her progress. During that weekend up to Wednesday, Pam really had a hard time. The antibiotics did not work. When her father accompanied her for the check up, they were referred to Asian Hospital for possible confinement.

Pam's two tonsils were swollen so much so that she might not be able to breathe anytime since the air passage was already being blocked by the tonsils. The pain is already extending to her left ear and by that time it was already impossible for her to take anything orally.

At Asian, they went straight to the emegency room as advised by the UMC doctor. My husband informed me to go straight to Asian so I left the office a little after lunchtime. I was so nervous. It was the first time that Pam is going to be hospitalized. I am thinking that maybe she would cry when the nurses will stick needles in her arm for the dextrose. I was a bit glad that I wouldn't be there by herside by then as I might cry, too.

They were still in the emergency room when I arrived. The hospital staff hasn't found yet a room for her. It was already past 5pm when we were led to a room at the 5th floor. It was a nice room - superior private. There was a TV, ref, own bathroom, and big space for the sofa bed and a window.

Pam reacted positively with the antibiotics that was put thru her dextrose. We were out of the hospital after 3 days.

It was a scary experience for us but it was a nice feeling that being covered by Maxicare, we would not be troubled with the financial aspect.

At the end of the day, after claiming Philhealth, Maxicare picked up the rest of the bill. When we were about to leave the hospital, somebody gave Pam a rose as it is a practice when a patient checks out.

I am really praying that nobody in our family will be hospitalized, ever. I just hate it there....no matter how nice the room is.

If any, the only good thing that happened to us during Pam's hospitalization is that the 3 of us had a time alone with each other. It made us realize how important we are to each other.

Independence

...Trying to be independent from us and getting dependent on someone else. ...

'Ma, I am the assigned marketer in school today. I am not yet that close to my new groupmates as we have just reshuffled so I will have to do it alone. Btw- we will meet at SM so that he can help me to carry the things I am going to buy" there goes the text message of my daughter.

Yeah, you're right! Not really sure if you can't carry them all. If you don't have a boyfriend, you can manage it for sure..but now that there is somebody to help you..suddenly, you can't lift things on your own anymore...

Okay, be dependent if you have to...but it should not impact your personality..you should be able to stand own your own as you are not always going to be with him. Just another way to be together...Hmmnnn...I know that..I have been there.. but back then, I was way ahead your age ..yours came too early......

Bad Thoughts go away...

...So this is how it feels when your daughter has a boyfriend already. I really have to stretch my patience sometimes. Need to give her my full understanding, maximum tolerance. But it is getting harder each day. She is not as demanding of my time anymore as she has someone else to occupy her time. Her constant texting irritates me. I don't also like her talking on the phone for so long. Maybe I am envious:-( I would almost say NO each time she tells me that she will have a visitor. I am thinking that she is allowing again that guy to eat our food, hehehe..when I saw some of their pics on the Facebook...I cringed...my..why have a shot with their faces so close..always smiling...hmmph! If this is not paranoia, I don't know what to call it.

...For the first time she really transferred to her room when in fact she has been sharing our bedroom for the past 17 years. Independence...yeah, yeah...I just believe that she is talking to her boyfriend until late at night on the phone. I wish her phone would get lost or be broken then I am not gonna buy her a new one anymore. That would be fun:-)

...I also saw on FB that she bought him a birthday gift. That would be from the money I gave her...If she has extra, why doesn't she just give it back to me? Hmmnn.. I am getting to be a selfish, old woman, huh!

...I don't think she knows his full background. We haven't met his family...although the boy seems okay but needs to strrrrive harderrrrrrrr to please me and to assure me that he can provide for my daughter when the time comes. For now, I am trying to be nice to both of them although deep inside I want to strangle them:-(

I hope that they will separate soon, that would be great...

~bad thoughts

feb 16. 2011

Remembering Norla...

She was a friend from my college days. We did not go to the same school but we stayed in the same house. Her youngest sister is closer to me because of our age range. However, it did not stop us from being close also as she was such an endearing & funny person...always laughing....making fun of each situation and making fun even of herself at times. Her voice still lingers in my ears. Maybe she found in me a listening buddy..my attention would always be hers while she narrated her experiences..sometimes lowering her voice so that her sisters wouldn 't hear. She would also shout to my ate "No, Flor, I am not polluting Beng's mind".

During one of our light conversations in our dorm she told me that time would come when she would tell me that 'her baby is about 24 months old' referring to the baby's age in months like other countries do because she said, she will marry a foreigner. And it did happen..She married an Australian guy and that incident really happened as predicted.

She would call me each time she came home for a visit and we exchanged emails once in a while but it had stopped in 2009 as my former company ceased its operations in the country. We lost contact since then.

I still maintain my communications with her sisters thru FB. Yesterday, I was informed that Norla passed away...she was survived by her husband and 2 kids. I am saddened by her demise. Sad that her sisters will not be able to see her for the last time because of the distance .

Norla...you had made my college days so fun....I will always remember the time when we went to Rizal Park just to see Gary Valenciano.... there were so many people and we were perspiring a lot, as if we had just taken a bath but our smiles were from ear to ear, really glad of that experience.

When you went out at nights and would go home beyond our curfew at the dorm, you would tell me to open the door for you since you were not sure that your sisters would do it. However, I don't remember opening the door for you even once as I would always be fast asleep by then. In the morning, you would tell me how your date went..and we would always laugh at its turn out.

You were always willing to try new things, good or bad because according to you, we only live once...Sometimes, you would call me 'Adeng" referring to a younger sis, and I already missed that....

Norla, have you done all the crazy things you had wanted to try? Have you had the full life you were aiming at? Goodbye my laughing buddy...may you fill with laughter the space above. Rest in peace now....I am sure that you are now with our Lord because you are His child.

Long Nights

In the Philippines, nights are longer during christmas time until February. It is chilly and breezy at this time. It is only during this time when Filipinos normally wear windbreakers or sweaters. Personally, I love this time of the year.

When the year 2011 was about to set in, I promised myself that I would always be on time to meet my shuttle van to the office. And up to this day, I have acted on my resolution. I have been very consistent these days. I am always at the pick up point ahead of time:-)

I love the feeling of being outside long before the sun rises. It's nice to observe the sun as it slowly brightens up the surroundings making everything visible little by little.

It's kinda exhilarating to feel the gentle morning breeze and the darkness adds up to the thrill when I walk towards our subdivision's gate where the shuttle van would be waiting to bring me to the office.

I saw some early risers who enjoy their morning walks. Some students who are rushing for school. Those who have classes by 7 am need to leave their homes by 6am - when it is practically still dark outside.

This weekend , I will ask my husband and my daughter Pam to have a leisurely morning walk. I am sure we will enjoy. Long nights, please stay awhile....

Young Love

December 30, 2010

This morning, I woke up with a strange feeling. I felt that something is going to happen. Don’t know but I got apprehensive the moment I went to the bathroom downstairs.

I did my usual morning routine because I had to catch the shuttle to the office. I almost missed to take with me the apron that my office mate is borrowing for our play that day. It was in the plastic bag and there I saw the letter from Pam my daughter. She placed it between the folds of the white apron. I have an inkling of what is in that letter. Since I was in a rush, I have decided to just read it first thing when I arrive in the office. In the car, I told my husband that Pam inserted a letter on my things and I have an idea on what is in there.

When I arrived in the office, I read Pam’s letter. The content is a mixture of assurance that she will finish her studies and for us her parents not to fear that she will be like those other teenagers who got pregnant along the way because she was raised in a Christian way. She shares her fear of telling us directly that she has been going steady with Jaymore for almost 4 months now and how relieved she will be if everything is ironed out before the years ends. That she is having a hard time keeping her secret from us knowing that I don’t approve of early relationship. That she needs me to trust her and support her and how happy she is now with her true love#$@!*#%

I felt a big lump on my throat. If only my staff are not around, I could have shed bucket of tears. Why? I knew it even before she told me. I knew that she was hiding something from me. Her actions betrayed her. Who wouldn’t have a doubt when she is texting almost non stop – when she has to go to the terrace even late at night just to answer her phone. In the church, they always sit side by side. I knew it although I am on denial - I knew that there is something going on.

In her letter, Pam mentioned that she is growing up already. She seems matured and sincere in the words that she said. Actually the letter was done in a funny manner including lots of smileys . I knew how nervous she was while writing it. Looking back I remember that Pam says a lot of “I love you Mama’ these last few days. Asking for a hug every now and then. She hasn’t changed. She was like that when she was small – whenever she has done something wrong – it was her way of asking for an assurance that whatever happens she is loved.

As for me, I am really having a hard time accepting that my baby is now a lady with varying emotions. I am hoping that this thing will happen a lot later. That she will continue to be our baby for a long time. However, I want to give her a chance..let her experience how it is really to be in a relationship and to test her level of maturity. I wouldn’t like her to feel that I don’t trust her at all. I will schedule a meeting with her and Jaymore and maybe extract promises from them that they will always behave. No hanky panky on the side. Maybe I could live with that. Let them draw inspirations from each other as Pam has said in her letter.

Maybe I should give her more freedom now after all she is already 17 years old, turning 18 soon. I must let her spread her wings and find out more about what life is all about.
Well – I know all the right things to do but still I am hesitant to do it. What if I ask them to put a stop to the relationship? Will Pam hate me for it? What if I insist? How can I do it when Pam says how happy she is now. Will it make me feel better if nobody will court or take an interest with my daughter? No, but I would rather that she accepts courtship only and no serious relationship at this stage.

What can I do? Hmmnnn… nothing maybe…who can stop the rain from falling? Or the wind from blowing? Maybe, all I can do right now is to pray harder for God to bless and guide Pam & Jaymore always. I can’t stop them but I can talk sense into them by explaining to them facts of life rather than rejecting them now . It may drive them to be even more secretive in the process and might be bad for all of us in the end.

Life is really a cycle….one can’t stay in one stage all his life…we move on to the next level and that means that Pam has to meet someone else outside our family.

The Same God

Indeed, Facebook is of the best means to communicate these days. Thru it, I found out that the husband of one of my high school friends passed away just recently. Some of our classmates from all over the world were also able to extend their condolences via FB.

I feel for Ever & Aly. I know that it is really a huge loss for them. Sad that I can't go there as I have flu since last week. Calling her from time to time is not the same as being there personally but it is the least that I can do.

It seems not too long ago when we were in high school and now she is a widow. Our friendship has gone a long, long way.

I pray that God will shower you with love and strength so that you will be able to face tomorrow even without Ed now. Try to remember that the same God who washed away our sins will also wipe away our tears.

W for Writing

About a month ago, I attended our Finance Department team building. There were so many inclusion exercises and one of them was for us to arrange ourselves according to the first letter of our hidden talent. I immediately placed myself towards the end of the line knowing that it was W that I represented.

Somebody asked me what it stands for.....is that Wrestling?? Hahahha....It was only then that I have realized how much I missed writing...Got so busy....maybe one of these days...I will find the time and the inspiration to write about something....

Will you dance with me?

Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine. I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible. How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word 'refrigeration' mean nothing to you? How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched 'Jeopardy' on television?I cannot count the times I called my sister and said, 'How about going to lunch in a half hour?' She would gas up and stammer, 'I can't. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain.' And my personal favorite: 'It's Monday.' She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together. Because Americans cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect! We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Steve toilet-trained. We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet... We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of 'I'm going to,' 'I plan on,' and 'Someday, when things are settled down a bit.' When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Roller blades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord.. My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-Decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy. Now...go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to......not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting? Make sure you read this to the end; you will understand why I sent this to you. Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask ' How are you?' Do you hear the reply? When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, 'We'll do it tomorrow.' And in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say 'Hi? When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift....Thrown away..... Life is not a race Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over. 'Life may not be the party we hoped for... but while we are here we might as well dance!

Seeing someone in somebody else's eyes

Time flies so fast. It's over 8 months now since my mother left. Though, I have already accepted it, there are times when I really wish I could still see her, talk to her ..kiss her... hug her....

Lots of time, especially when I am alone, I get weepy...I miss her most during weekends...... there is no reason for me now to go home to the province...

I missed her a lot when my daughter got chicken pox...no more nanay to consult to and ask what is the best thing to do......In the past, I can always call her, anytime, wherever, I may be....It is very different now....

On one occasion, I still remember calling her when I didn't know what ingredient to put first on the pan...which one comes first...from very mundane things to the most sensitive decisions I made...mother was a major part of everything...

Whenever, I have to go on business travel..I miss calling her to ask what she wanted me to bring her as 'pasalubong'......The last thing that she wanted was a pair of shoes when I was in China ...Sad that I was not able to buy it for her because I couldn't find her size...Sigh!

I miss sending daily text messages to ask about her health condition. Sad that a few weeks before she passed away, I lost my cellphone..so I failed to text her for several days....Sayang!

I have 1001 reasons for wanting to talk to her....... I miss giving her updates on what my daughter has been up to lately...How she is preparing for her college entrance.......

How I wish that both my parents could be there ... when Pam graduates this coming March ...What about nanay's promise to attend Pam's debut....what now?? Sigh!

I want to update her on the latest about my job....what is the best decision for me to take given several options.....I have other people to consult with..I have my husband..my sisters, brothers...but it's her advise I want to seek ....

I get misty eyed whenever I see senior citizens walking down the street, I get jealous of those people still enjoying their parents..

Mere watching older folks in the supermarket...in the department store..in restaurants makes me feel good inside.... especially when they are with their children... having great time together...It makes me remember the time when I still have them with me and we also went to the same places and had a sweet time...

I remember this one time when I asked them to go to Makati Med for their check up..then told them to join my family at Hotel Intercon......how happy they were then.....Later on, we bought some groceries from Rustan's for them to take home. They felt like they were rich, they said...I knew how they cherished that experience... How I long to relive that moment....

I want to spend my money on my parents because they were like kids in some ways...giving them what they lacked when they were younger.... was a bliss for me already........

Kudos to other children who also think this way....I share with you the joys and pleasure to have such privilege.

Likewise, I hate children who show disrespect to elders...those who neglect their parents....those who can't return the good things that their parents did to them, early on, in their lives....

I am moved by just watching on television elders who are crying and wanting for something...I make it a point to watch the late night TV show on QTV about reunions...because I see the happiness of older people, especially those that are about to die, as they get re united with their loved ones. ...

Most of the time, I cry with these people...I cherish with them the joyful moment of being together once again....

Whenever I see old, sick people, I somehow feel that I am closer to my mother...I really feel for those relatives taking care of their sick loved ones. I've been there.....

The experience of seeing my father's and then my mother's worsening health conditions made me empathize with older people. I have more respect now with senior citizens. I just love to see them smiling when given the simple joys of their lives.

One of these days, maybe I will go and visit the home for the aged. Why not? I am hoping to see my 'parents' in somebody else' s eyes......

God has taken back my parents but He made sure that I retain the compassion I have for them...This, I will give back to the elders who deserve appreciation and pampering at the late stages in their lives.

Vietnam Sojourn

My brief stay in Vietnam was exciting as well as tiring. The day I left Manila seemed to have given me a sign that everything will not go that well in terms of logistics. At first, I was not given the boarding pass for my connecting flight from Hongkong to Vietnam because according to the lady at the check in counter, the seats in the Vietnam Airlines were all blocked. I was already at the waiting lounge when I heard that my name was being paged in the PA. "Calling the attention of passenger......" I was given the boarding pass after all....I thought that everything would be okay moving forward. When I was already in HK, I had a hard time looking for my correct departure gate number....after several long minutes...i saw it just in time for my connecting flight to Vietnam....The seat that was assigned to me was the one near the emergency exit....well.....

When I arrived at Ho Chi Minh airport, I saw a counter for taxi service reservation. I immediately contracted a taxi to bring me to Sheraton Hotel because I was already tired. I paid $10.00 Thought it was okay because I have my receipt anyway, only to fnd out that the I was charged twice the regular fare.

When I arrived at the hotel, the receptionist checked my reservation then asked for my Amex card..I was signing the form when somebody approached me and asked if everything was okay. It was Lay Pin, my former manager.....who was one of the facilitators for the training. What I thought to be a relaxing dinner in my hotel room turned out to be a dinner in one of the restaurants nearby. I was amazed to know how much a bowl of noodles cost. It was VD26k. He, he,he... it was the most expensive bowl of noodles I have eaten. My strawberry drink cost me VD45k as well. I sipped it very slowly to really enjoy the flavor...Hmmnnn..I could be a millionaire soon in this country....
Everything went well during the 3 day training at A9. It rained in the afternoons. There are lots of contructions going on around the city. Given a number of years, Vietnam will flourish. The sea of bikers lording the streets seemed to scare the cars and buses around. I read from their newspaper that there were 375 casualties already due to unsafe practices on the streets since the beginning of the year only.

On the day that I was supposed to go home, Lay Pin and I decided to have breakfast in another restaurant. We were already rushing because my flight was at 10:00 am. When we arrived in the airport, Lay Pin told me that she will be the one to settle the taxi fare. "Go ahead and hurry up else you will miss your flight" She told me to just turn left after the entrance. Oh, my where is the entrance? The big door that I saw led to a restaurant...I retraced my footsteps to where LP and I separated and I saw her a few steps ahead of me. "LP wait" I am lost.....She graciously accompanied me to the check in counter and asked me to approach the ground attendant who was flashing the sign "Hongkong" to give me priority as my flight was already boarding. Fortunately, he obliged.

I was able to get into the departure gate on time...however, my flight to HK was delayed for about an hour. We arrived in HK about 2pm and by that time my connecting flight to Manila was already boarding. My! I still have to pass thru HK customs and then I have to ride the train to get into the departure gates...Not sure if I can still make it....I felt like going to the wash room but I just don't have the time....I got a push cart and put my laptop and my other hand carried baggage. I was practically running to gate 67. I was in gate 65 when the final call was given. Whew! Not sure if the airconditioning in HK airport was still working. I was perspiring and panting at the same time. I was thinking that when I come back to the office, I will tell the one in charge of our travel bookings not to give me too tight schedules for connecting flights.....
When I was inside the plane already, I just checked my correct seat number and went right away to the wash room. I was thankful that I made it. I washed my face and combed my hair.. I felt comfortable afterwards. I uttered a silent prayer of thanks that even my seat is not that far from the washroom. I was already relaxing on my seat, reading magazines when I happened to look at the direction of the washroom that I used...he, he..it was for the male passengers...never mind, they are not that exacting onboard....I will be arriving in Manila as scheduled....that was my last thought before I went to sleep.......
I was awakened by the announcement "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Manila" but I still can't open my eyes..I was still sleepy and exhausted but I have to hurry up else there will be a long line in the immigrations.

Passport stamped with arrival date...finally...I just need to grab my baggage and I can go......But where is my baggage???? I was already dizzy, frantically searching for my bag at the carousel.....until there are just a few people and bags left...Oh no, where's my bag???How come? It seems to me that misfortune has been enjoying my company..it doesn't want to leave me....One ground attendant approached me to say that I can either file a complaint and then they will deliver my baggage 3 days after or just wait for the next flight which will arrive in one hour....I said I will just wait...

I called up my husband who was already on his way to fetch me. He asked me to just send him text message when I am ready to meet him outside.....It was my first time to lose my baggage....i texted my pastor friend that maybe when he prayed for me to have a safe trip he did not include my baggage...well, my bag arrived one hour after...was able to leave the airport in peace after that....

I will always remember my first Vietnam trip for all the rushing, sweating, panting and waiting that I experienced as well as for the baffling turn of events.....

Bond Between Mother and Daughter

The bond between a mother and daughter is the most precious gift of all.
It is this unexplainable most fulfilling feeling that only 'that' mother and daughter can share.

A mother should never feel they have to stop protecting their daughter.
Of course they must let them make their own decisions
And let them grow as an individual
But they must never stop protecting or being a guide for their life.

A mother knows their daughter best..
And knows what's best for their happiness.
No matter how old that daughter is
She will always be her mother's baby, sister, and best friend.

And never forget, a daughter, will always want to be her mother's baby, sister, and best friend. No matter what may occur, a daughter never wants her mom to stop being that guide.
We will always need our moms; no matter how old we are.

Poem by: Jessica Michelle Felice

Ten Guidelines from God

Effective Immediately, please be aware that there are changes YOU need to make in YOUR life. These changes need to be completed in order that I may fulfill My promises to you to grant you peace, joy and happiness in this life. I apologize for any inconvenience, but after all that I am doing, this seems very little to ask of you. Please, follow these 10 guidelines.........

1. QUIT WORRYING:Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here to take all your burdens and carry them for you? Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little thing that comes your way?

2. PUT IT ON THE LIST:Something needs to be done or taken care of. Put it on the list. No, not YOUR list. Put it on MY to-do-list. Let ME be the one to take care of the problem. I can't help you until you turn it over to Me. And although My to-do-listis long, I am after all... God. I can take care of anything you put into My hands. In fact, if the truth were ever really known, I take care of a lot of things for you that you never even realize.

3. TRUST ME: Once you've given your burdens to Me, quit trying to take them back. Trust in Me. Have the faith that I will take care ofall your needs, your problems and your trials. Problems with the kids? Put them on My list. Problem with finances? Put it on My list. Problems with your emotional roller coaster? For My sake, put it on My list. I want to help you. All you have to do is ask.

4. LEAVE IT ALONE: Don't wake up one morning and say, "Well, I'm feeling much stronger now, I think I can handle it from here." Why do you think you are feeling stronger now? It's simple. You gave Me your burdens and I'm taking care of them. I also renew your strength and cover you in my peace. Don't you know that if I give you these problems back, you will be right back where you started? Leave them with Me and forget about them. Just let Me do my job.

5. TALK TO ME: I want you to forget a lot of things. Forget what was making you crazy. Forget the worry and the fretting because you know I'm in control. But there's one thing I pray you never forget. Please, don't forget to talk to Me - OFTEN! I love YOU! I want to hear your voice. I want you to include Me in on the things going on in your life. I want to hear you talk about your friends and family. Prayer is simply you having conversation with Me. I want to be your dearest friend.

6. HAVE FAITH:I see a lot of things from up here that you can't see from where you are. Have faith in Me that I know what I'm doing. Trust Me; you wouldn't want the view from My eyes. I will continue to care for you, watch over you, and meet your needs. You only have to trust Me. Although I have a much h bigger task than you, it seems as if you have so much trouble just doing your simple part. How hard can trust be?

7. SHARE:You were taught to share when you were only two years old. When did you forget? That rule still applies. Share with those who are less fortunate than you. Share your joy with those who need encouragement. Share your laughter with those who haven't heard any in such a long time. Share your tears with those who have forgotten how to cry. Share your faith with those who have none.

8. BE PATIENT:I managed to fix it so in just one lifetime you could have so many diverse experiences. You grow from a child to an adult, have children, change jobs many times, learn many trades, travel to so many places, meet thousands of people, and experience so much. How can you be so impatient then when it takes Me a little longer than you expect to handle something on My to-do-list? Trust in My timing, for My timing is perfect. Just because I created the entire universe inonly six days, everyone thinks I should always rush, rush, rush.

9. BE KIND:Be kind to others, for I love them just as much as I love you. They may not dress like you, or talk like you, or live the same way you do, but I still love you all. Please try to get along, for My sake. I created each of you different in some way. It would be too boring if you were all identical. Please, know I love each of your differences.

10. LOVE YOURSELF: As much as I love you, how can you not love yourself? You were created by me for one reason only -- to be loved, and to love in return. I am a God of Love. Love Me. Love your neighbors. But also love yourself. It makes My heart ache when I see you so angry with yourself when things go wrong. You are very precious to me. Don't ever forget......

Touch someone with your love. Rather than focus upon the thorns of life, smell the roses and count your blessings!!

The glorious sunset

At evening time it shall happen that it will be light. — Zechariah 14:7

It is wonderful to be young, with clear sight, acute hearing, elastic step, pulses drumming to the march of exhilarating health. But old age has glories that youth cannot know. It is a blessed old age indeed if it ends brightly at evening time. Old age celebrates the harvest — youth the sowing.

Like fruit in the fall, the harvest of old age will either dry up and wither, or grow mellow and sweeter as it ripens. You cannot escape the advancing years. Youth stays long enough only to strengthen our shoulders for the burdens ahead. Life leads inevitably to the evening time. But the best things are the oldest things — things that have endured and stood the test of time. God Himself — though not bound by time — is called the Ancient of Days (Dan. 7:9).

So don’t be ashamed to own your age. Everything that abides must become old: mountains, rivers, oceans, stars. But the evening time of life can be bright only if we have the One who is the Light as our evening Sun.

Nothing is sadder than an aging person facing eternity without Jesus. And nothing is sweeter than a gently mellowing Christian, still growing and resting in Christ as he faces God’s tomorrow with confidence. — M. R. De Haan, M.D.

So I journey with rejoicing Toward the city of God’s light. While each day my joy is deeper; And the pathway grows more bright. — Hoffman

SERENITY PRAYER

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life

And supremely happy with Him Forever in the next.
Amen.

Shanghai, China December 10-16, 2006

East Asia PCG Team Dinner at Tang Dynasty Restaurant in Pudong Plaza
Shirley and me at one of the malls near People Square in Puxi

My second time this year to visit Shanghai. It is nice to see again some familiar faces and places. Even my hotel room looked the same because I stayed in the same hotel. Funny feeling to be in the same place where I had a frightful experience last January. (I thought I was in Renaissance Pudong so I tried to open my hotel room to no avail and I got so confused why my key was not working and it turned out that I was in Renaissance Puxi):-(

I noticed that they have added one security measure. You need to insert your room card key to a slot in the same corner where you need to press the room numbers inside the elevator else you can't go up. If this measure was already implemented last time then I would have known that I was in the wrong hotel right away.

It was so cold during my weeklong stay. I had a chance to go to Yuan Garden once again. I enjoyed the 10 minute walk to the Pudong Plaza where Carrefour, KFC, Mcdo and other restaurants are.