Time flies so fast. It's over 8 months now since my mother left. Though, I have already accepted it, there are times when I really wish I could still see her, talk to her ..kiss her... hug her....
Lots of time, especially when I am alone, I get weepy...I miss her most during weekends...... there is no reason for me now to go home to the province...
I missed her a lot when my daughter got chicken pox...no more nanay to consult to and ask what is the best thing to do......In the past, I can always call her, anytime, wherever, I may be....It is very different now....
On one occasion, I still remember calling her when I didn't know what ingredient to put first on the pan...which one comes first...from very mundane things to the most sensitive decisions I made...mother was a major part of everything...
Whenever, I have to go on business travel..I miss calling her to ask what she wanted me to bring her as 'pasalubong'......The last thing that she wanted was a pair of shoes when I was in China ...Sad that I was not able to buy it for her because I couldn't find her size...Sigh!
I miss sending daily text messages to ask about her health condition. Sad that a few weeks before she passed away, I lost my cellphone..so I failed to text her for several days....Sayang!
I have 1001 reasons for wanting to talk to her....... I miss giving her updates on what my daughter has been up to lately...How she is preparing for her college entrance.......
How I wish that both my parents could be there ... when Pam graduates this coming March ...What about nanay's promise to attend Pam's debut....what now?? Sigh!
I want to update her on the latest about my job....what is the best decision for me to take given several options.....I have other people to consult with..I have my husband..my sisters, brothers...but it's her advise I want to seek ....
I get misty eyed whenever I see senior citizens walking down the street, I get jealous of those people still enjoying their parents..
Mere watching older folks in the supermarket...in the department store..in restaurants makes me feel good inside.... especially when they are with their children... having great time together...It makes me remember the time when I still have them with me and we also went to the same places and had a sweet time...
I remember this one time when I asked them to go to Makati Med for their check up..then told them to join my family at Hotel Intercon......how happy they were then.....Later on, we bought some groceries from Rustan's for them to take home. They felt like they were rich, they said...I knew how they cherished that experience... How I long to relive that moment....
I want to spend my money on my parents because they were like kids in some ways...giving them what they lacked when they were younger.... was a bliss for me already........
Kudos to other children who also think this way....I share with you the joys and pleasure to have such privilege.
Likewise, I hate children who show disrespect to elders...those who neglect their parents....those who can't return the good things that their parents did to them, early on, in their lives....
I am moved by just watching on television elders who are crying and wanting for something...I make it a point to watch the late night TV show on QTV about reunions...because I see the happiness of older people, especially those that are about to die, as they get re united with their loved ones. ...
Most of the time, I cry with these people...I cherish with them the joyful moment of being together once again....
Whenever I see old, sick people, I somehow feel that I am closer to my mother...I really feel for those relatives taking care of their sick loved ones. I've been there.....
The experience of seeing my father's and then my mother's worsening health conditions made me empathize with older people. I have more respect now with senior citizens. I just love to see them smiling when given the simple joys of their lives.
One of these days, maybe I will go and visit the home for the aged. Why not? I am hoping to see my 'parents' in somebody else' s eyes......
God has taken back my parents but He made sure that I retain the compassion I have for them...This, I will give back to the elders who deserve appreciation and pampering at the late stages in their lives.
